Monday, September 15, 2014

I left a youtube comment

1998 WAS better than 2014. In 1998, no one took the bait, they saw straight through Zilla and through the phony, soulless corporate bullshit product they shit out in a weekend. It was so terrible that everyone who saw it questioned it, and Godzilla, the name, character, and everything it represents, passed it like a kidney stone and kept on ticking.

In 2014, however...

Yes, I'm well aware that Zilla is still ultimately responsible for Hollywood killing Godzilla because of the generation of "fans" who grew up with Zilla, growing into Zilla apologists and Zilla deniers. It doesn't change the fact that the 2014 THING still exists.

As to what you're talking about... what the hell are you fucking talking about? You're mad because there are youtube comments? You're mad because you've read youtube comments? You know that youtube comments exist... therefore anger? Pal, youtube comments have been around looooong before gino 2, and they will be here for much longer. When Hollywood's marketing blitz dies and the product that used to be Godzilla ceases to be marketable to the 18-24 demo, there will still be youtube comments. Nothing can stop that, not me, not you, not even Hollywood has that kind of power. Yes, I understand that youtube comments are terrible, but they are, after all, created by trolls and idiots, so... what... what are you upset about again?

But here's the weird part: that you've managed to convince yourself this has anything to do with Godzilla, Zilla, or gino 2. Again, the engine of youtube comments moves independently of all of these things, the inability to recognize this is, frankly, startling. But let's ignore that for a minute because I want to talk about your opinion on fans and fandom, and how little sense any of it makes.

"G-Fan" is a term, originating in the early 90's, referring to an individual who identifies themselves as a fan of the Godzilla series/character/world/whatever. Fan is shorthand for fanatic, so right off the bat we're talking about a label people use to self-identify themselves as being fanatical about Godzilla. You following along? Good, because it is at this time I'd like to point out that you consistently refer to yourself, members of your audience, and the aforementioned youtube commenters as "G-Fans" throughout the video, implying this attitude towards all of those people, including yourself. You then go on to talk about how you think it's disgusting and pathetic for someone to be fanatical about Godzilla.

And here's where we have our problem:

You aren't really calling yourself a disgusting and pathetic youtube commenter, are you? Of course not, so why bother to use the internet handle "GojiFan" or continue to refer to yourself AS such in the very video where you decry such attitudes as being morally reprehensible? For appearance. Because you want views. You want lots of views, lots of attention on your channel, and all of these leads to more ad revenue. You're a "G-Fan" because in the multimedia million dollar ad blitz that accompanies gino 2, "Godzilla" is now a hastag, and you want a piece of the pie.

I mean you said it yourself: you don't understand why people care. You don't understand how deeply people care, and you don't even understand WHICH people care, because you've managed to convince yourself that trolls on some upstart youtube channels are legitimately who they say they are and aren't baiting you by pretending to not get the joke. Friend, YOU'RE the joke, and you don't get it.

I don't know if you were born without a heart, or have never loved anything in your life, or what's going on here, but for the purpose of leaving something constructive to sort of justify leaving a comment here at all, let me just try and explain this. There has never been a time in my life without Godzilla. He was a part of me since before I could form conscious memories, and his name was the first word that I ever wrote. There is nothing, *nothing* in this world as pure and real as Godzilla. His nature as a fictional character, as a legend, means he's supposed to outlive all of us, that he'll be the ultimate realization and memory of everything we do on this Earth, that 100 years from now no one will remember our names... but they'll remember Godzilla. When I tell people "I'm Godzilla's biggest fan," I'm not bragging or making some sort of idle status claim, it's just how it is. Without Godzilla, I don't know what to do anymore.

I am the absolute pinnacle of the amount which a human being should ever care about a specific thing, back off from where I am, way, WAY the hell away from where I am, you get your average G-Fan. Your average G-Fan loves Godzilla, quite deeply, for some sort of *reason,* because it means something to them, because it isn't just a franchise or a movie or a monster, it's something far more profound and personal, and even these people aren't willing to drown themselves because of what Hollywood did. Back away from average, way, WAY far away from average, you have your casual G-Fan. These people, who merely have some sort of surface attraction to the idea, are into it because some aspect of it appeals to them. Something about the movies or the character is unique or special or just plain cool, and there can be other cool things... but without that extra something that makes Godzilla... well, Godzilla, then it isn't worth investing any time or money into. If you show a casual G-Fan Zilla, they won't stop eating for a week, but they certainly aren't going to come back for the sequel.

Now, of course the last, and most important, thing I want to say is that, well... none of these things really exist anymore. G-Fans of all kinds have been replaced by Zilla apologists and Zilla deniers. The ones that haven't have been bought out by subversive advertising techniques and "grass roots" viral campaigns carried out on nerd culture blogs and let's play moguls. The age of the G-Fan, and Godzilla, is over, all that's left is people like you, trying to make a quick buck on a name and a legacy. What I'm saying is, you're all that's left, and you're literally getting pissed off at nothing.

p.s. Does it seem just a little bit ironic to anyone else that the video is titled "discussion" and yet the guy in the video clearly states that he has no interest or concern for what the viewers do? Isn't that kind of like... the complete opposite of a discussion?

p.p.s. Fair is fair. I don't give a fuck about what you think or do. Too long? You have ADHD or never learned how to read? I don't care. Thumbs down? Thumbs up? What fucking difference does it make? None of you people are ever going to read this, no one cares, and I don't give a shit about what you think about me or Godzilla. Nothing is being accomplished here, everyone here, me included, is just wasting their lives wrapped in a cocoon of solid hate, isolated from everything sensible and natural. Either spit more bile and flame at me or add to what I've spewed out here, it makes no difference, and we're all going to die alone. You people wrecked everything for me that isn't about you. Now I am you.

Enjoy your product, you stupid fucks.

Sunday, September 14, 2014

You Know You're a Real, True, Hardcore Gamer If...

Gamering. You know it, you love it. You self-identify as it everyday because you've been told to by the mega-corps. But maybe you're slowly becoming more lucid and peering through the matrix, starting to realize that your entire life is a fucking farce and you're beginning to doubt whether or not anything you've ever loved in world is real or true at all, let alone hardcore, and you need a few pills to help put you back to sleep. I know, I've been there, I'm there now. But don't worry, because ol' malzterz has got you covered.

So without further ado, here is another fucking list of stupid shit that you can mindlessly agree with and nod your head like the fucking machine you are you cock-sucking sheeple: